From Mamma di Merda to Mamma di Meta: this is how Instagram talks about social networks to parents and children

The case of Chiara Ferragni and the 11 year old girl who criticized her for a photo posted on Instagram, which then the profile was closed for violating the age limitis only the latest in the delicate question of the relationship between children and social networks.

More or less all platforms, from TikTok to YouTube, from Facebook to Instagram (with some important news announced as early as mid-2021), now have tools with which they try to make this coexistence simpler and safer, from the so-called age-gating (the request for age during registration) to limitations on content and interactions.

Recently, however, Instagram has decided to take an interesting step further. Interesting and not obvious, because the company has created a partnership with a very popular page (over 185 thousand followers) but with a name that is not exactly easy, net of hypocrisy.

“Enough with the narrative of perfect mothers”

The page is called Mamma di Merda, they created it Francesca Fiore And Sarah Malnerichand from this page the Mamma di Meta initiative was born, dedicated precisely to the education of the youngest (and their families) with regard to social media.

Fiore and Malnerich they live in Turin, they are mothers of a total of 3 daughters (aged between 8 and 13) and their project was born in 2016: “I had started a blog on WordPress to talk about being parents, the difficulties you have, what you faces in everyday life – Fiore told us – The idea was to try to overturn the narration of the perfect mother, who always performs at her best, and to remember that mothers are also women, they are normal people and have the their failure”. The idea was also to talk about all this lightly and humorouslyperhaps from which comes the choice of the name: “We have been on Instagram for about 5 years and we have had no problems registering the username we had chosen – they answered us with a smile when we asked them – There are more problems with some newspapers, that perhaps it is difficult to write Mamma di Merda in a title”.

Beyond the comedy and irony, Fiore and Malnerich’s project over time it has expanded beyond parenthood and has come to address even bigger issues, such as the lack of communication between men and women, the problems of schools and the effects of these problems on families (and in particular on women), the consequences of the months of lockdown on both mothers and daughters and sons. Up to the relationship with social networks and the collaboration with Meta for Instagram.

From Shit Mom to Meta Mom

In practice, this thing is realized along two strands main ones: online and in the real world. Already now, clicking on mammadimeta.it takes you to a page from which it is possible to download a sort of Guide to Instagram with tools dedicated to parents and teenagers for safe and aware use of the platform: it is condensed into a couple of pages, it is not overly complicated and it seemed to us an excellent starting point for understand what is in front of you. Furthermore, Meta has an entire Family Center (accessed from here) which provides access to useful resources, provided by industry experts, that can be used to support teenagers and that involve adults in the online experience of teenagers.

As for the real world, Fiore and Malnerich will dedicate a space to this topic during their show An execrable show in the sunwhich after last spring’s debut, returns with a summer tour in the theaters of Italy which starts on June 5th from Florence and will touch a total of 15 stages from North to South.

Children and social media: 3 things parents should do

Stages in which even the same creators of the duo Mamma di Merda they will try to improve from the point of view of managing the complicated relationship between children and social networks. By applying 3 rules that they believe all parents should apply to a certain extent: “Accept reality, that is, being aware that social networks are part of our children’s lives and that banning them is of little use, if not to destroy the relationship between us and them. Better to keep the dialogue open, so that they come and talk to us in case of problems”. And then what? “Get help from technology, because digital tools exist and we must learn to use them. Starting from establishing a limitation of the times of use which is perhaps also the result of a negotiation with our children, so that a point of balance is reached that satisfies everyone”.

In the end, “set precise rules for use: even if adolescence is the time when the rules are broken, boys and girls need it, even if they are not aware of it. Because without rules they get lost”.

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The minimum age and the Ferragni case

One of these rules is that there is a minimum age to be on social networks: in Italy it is generally set at 13 years, which according to Fiore and Malnerich “is an age like any other, even if it was established by professionals in the sector and people competent in the field”. In what sense? “In the sense that at 13, as well as at 14, 16 or 18, one can still be half-children or almost adults – Fiore told us – We parents cannot rely on this alone or give all the responsibility to the platforms: we have to be there, like we are there the first time they go to school, at the cinema, shopping with friends. Social media is just another place for our children to interact with each other, and we need to pay as much attention as we would anywhere else.”

Attention that perhaps the parents of Giulia, the little girl who commented on Chiara Ferragni’s photo, have somewhat omitted: “This whole story it was a bit of an own goal for them – Fiore and Malnerich told us – That little girl is 11 years old and couldn’t fit on Instagram, regardless of whether or not her parents knew she fit. Maybe at 13 she will be equally annoyed by an image like the one you criticized, and she will be perfectly free to express this discomfort. But you must first be of the right age to be able to do it ”.