Rai spain, Fuortes magna (with Salvini and Gianni Letta) and stays on horseback as ad

Rai Spain, Fuortes magna. A la guerre! The French have taken the Mona Lisa, but the ad Rai, Carlo Fuortes, for a whole night, he fought to snatch the San Carlo (Real theater of Naples) from him. Italians, occupied people, we write to you from the Viale Mazzini front, where the Rai budget was unanimously approved yesterday. The nation (Gianni Letta and the League) have in fact rallied in support of the intrepid Fuortes. You may not know it, but further south, in the city that once belonged to Don Benedetto Croce, the French, on the night of April 19, with a sudden move, advanced. The superintendent of that Theater is Stephane Lissner, a Frenchman of a Frenchman, who has a ringworm that we won’t tell you about. He is 70 years old and doesn’t give up. Minister Sangiuliano/Armando Diaz, our other general, wanted to free the besieged theater and also get rid of a Fuortes problem. Oh well, yes, as usual: place Fuortes, the highly decorated administrator from Mario Draghi who cannot find asylum. Naples was the ideal shoreline, the colony, the place in the sun. Sangiuliano/Diaz had come up with a little three-line lexicon (superintendents retire at the age of 70). Unfortunately, complications arose. The leggina takes time (parliamentary commission, state attorney) and our Fuortes does not intend to take off his boots. He wants another pair otherwise he keeps those. There is no way: “They don’t come out, they are stuck”.

The turning point. The French Lissner, on April 18, had opened hostilities with a letter delivered to the mayor of Naples, Manfredi, and to the governor De Luca. We published it, as soon as it arrived, on the website of Il Foglio, little Radio London. He threatened legal reprisals. He thundered: “If they kick me out, I’m ready to resort to Europe”. He had warned: “Whoever takes my place will be guilty of something illegitimate”. How French! Our general Sangiuliano/Diaz is exhausted by so much battle, so much hard struggle. Queen Giorgia Meloni is fed up with these Rai dispatches which, ignobly, the newspapers write, including ours: “In Gennà (Sangiuliano) here they are percular. Let’s stay away from Rai. For charity”. These are days in which the Italian people must think about the birth rate. Procreate, procreate, procreate. The following calls therefore came from the general command of Palazzo Chigi. In Neapolitan: “Fuortes, ‘mo ‘a scucciato. To burp”. The favorites of our queen Meloni say that the sovereign “has many books to read. The Def, Nordio’s information, the Competition Law. How could she, her royalty, take care of Rai. Are you dumb?” Here then, the highly decorated Fuortes, in the Alberto Sordi version, moved on his own: “I have to find new allies. Move my diplomacy. Urca”. Yesterday, the Italian genius, Fuortes, presented a balance sheet with 580 million euros of Rai suffering, but as inked in the scroll (which the members of the Board of Directors, with monocle, supervised) “the suffering is in any case attested to levels of sustainability ”. The unions of Rai, but also those of Adrai (managers), known Bolsheviks, are ready to strike on May 26th. But the leader Fuortes certainly cannot now think of such a peril. He called Gianni Letta, the Churchill of Forza Italia, but he also probed the availability of Salvini who promised him his aircraft carrier. “Gianni and I can guarantee you our two votes on the board. Go ahead”. Queen Meloni was warned by spies of this singular mess, but she replied: “Now I’m going to take a nap”. Fuortes continues to send her telegrams that the resistance turns to us: “I am available to make new appointments for the news, stop. I leave the current network directors, stop. I’m excellent at Rai if you want, stop “. But at the same time, as a skilled double agent, Fuortes sent other telegrams to Salvini: “I guarantee the Rai production center in Milan, stop. I protect Lega quota programs, stop. I, like you, have always eaten sauerkraut and nutella, stop”. This disposition of mind, this Fuortes commitment, therefore translated into the approval by the Rai board of directors of the new farmhouse project “Rai production center in Milan”. Salvini, a well-known communications aviator, immediately claimed the solemn victory. The battle with the French is now suspended. Sangiuliano/Diaz returns to his camp: Prezzolini’s attic. Fuortes, on the seventh floor of Viale Mazzini, yesterday too, loosened his tie, his uniform, and called his wife: “All is well, all is well. Usual quiet day.” Thus the hero has reached the hearth.

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• Carmelo Caruso

• Carmelo Caruso, journalist in Palermo, Milan, Rome. He started at La Repubblica. Today he works at the Foglio