The survey on conspiracy theories reassures us: even among them they don’t all agree

A recent SWG survey certifies that 15 percent of Italians believe that the Earth is flat. Ok that they are a minority, but they are still too many since the earth is round. (It should also be noted that a 5 percent response to the statement “the Earth is flat” was “probably false”: that “probably” is our metaverse). But above all, that data is only the first of a survey which, in ascending order, tells the relationship between Italians and the most bizarre theories. 17 percent of Italians believe that “the Holocaust never happened”; 18 percent that “some deceased celebrities are still alive and are hidden on an island” (question: but then on this island, when these celebrities actually die, are there any inhabitants who are convinced that they are not, that they are still alive, and have gone back to hiding on the mainland?); still 18 percent (who knows if the same asisland of the Viz, acronym that stands for “very important zombie”…) believes that “the Reptilians are among us, they look like some politicians and they rule the world”. (Skeptic note from the undersigned: but if you were Reptilians, with the power to assume human features, therefore also those of Brad Pitt, why would you decide to have the features of Fabio Rampelli?).

From here on, we climb steeply towards the hyperuranium of conspiracy theory: 25 percent of Italians are convinced that “vaccines are a method of mass control through 5G”; 29 percent that “the moon landing never happened and the photos were taken on a film set”; 32 percent that “the attack on the Twin Towers was organized by the United States”. We are in paranoia, of course; but woe to believe that it is a “single thought”: there are divisions and distinctions even among conspiracy theorists. 36 percent of Italians believe that “Covid-19 was created by China as a weapon to destroy the West”, while 42 percent believe that “Covid-19 and other viruses were created in the laboratory to favor pharmaceutical companies”: what about now? Who is right – or rather, who is more wrong? Which of the two truths is more alternative, and therefore more true, i.e. false? Let’s organize a public debate between these two opposing visions of the conspiracy: perhaps in an arena, perhaps with mud, perhaps with bare hands. I would be really curious to assist you.

At the top of the Italians’ beliefs is the best of theories, the mother of all conspiracies: 60 percent of Italians claim that “an elite of strong powers controls the world”. And here it all collapses: but how, they control the world, and then these “powers that be” get screwed by the Chinese, the pharmaceutical companies, Elvis Presley, the Pentagon, the aliens and the Holocaust lobby? They will reply that I am stupid, that the subjects listed above are all in agreement with each other: apart from the fact that in this case we will have to be taught by them the art of compromise and agreement between the parties, but above all let us We too agree with them (we the minority at this point, who have remained without a reason from this “treaty on the Moon”) and so we are literally all in agreement. If you think I’m being sarcastic, you haven’t understood anything: I envy conspiracy theorists, their optimistic view of the world. According to them, in fact, there are those who command and decide everything, from pandemics down. In the head of a conspiracy theorist everything is literally under control. I sincerely hope they are right.