How sad is the football we saw in Arabia

My eyes are still bleeding and the hemorrhoids that came from watching TV for the horrendous friendly between Paris Saint-Germain and a team of Saudi runaways with Cristiano Ronaldo inside. Actions from a Wednesday practice match, shirts bought at a discount, a sad Italian provincial stadium with distant stands full of people who cheered for whoever scored, CR7’s Instagram post happy to have seen “some old friends” again, that is, Messi. If this is the football that awaits us, pass me the bottle right away, I’d rather flee to the Caribbean to read Borges.

I thought that the summer friendlies of the Premier League in America and Asia were already the abyss of the disgrace of football, then I saw the Italian Super Cup derby played in a semi-empty stadium in Riyadh in front of standing fans who understood less than nothing and I thought, between forced celebrations and semi-automatic offside, that the next step is to challenge the two teams on the PlayStation, and thus award the cup. The apotheosis of the farce, in addition to the tacky caricature seats of the Arab pimp on which the managers sat in the stands, was the referee who, after Dimarco’s goal, took the ball and had it placed under a display case so that it could be sold in an immediate online auction, as if it were Pele’s stuffed toe.

I’m a reactionary old asshole, but the fact that football is looking more and more like a mix between wrestling and the board of a multinational company that invests in ESG makes me want to go to League Two matches, and while I’m at it to toast former Crawley Town FC manager, John Yems. Accused of racism for having mangled the names of some black players of the club he coached so as to make fun of them for their ethnic origin, Yems was partially exonerated by an independent panel which called him an “unaware racist”, therefore not guilty . I’m not going to tell you the pain in the balls from the Football Association and moralizing company, meanwhile Yems has been disqualified until 2024, he has obviously apologized and will have to take anti-racist re-education courses.

Instead, I recommend an English course to the Gazzetta journalists who randomly translated Bruno Fernandes’ words about Manchester United finally united unlike when Ronaldo was there. “Next time call someone who understands English well. In the interview I said that we changed after the match against Liverpool and if I’m not mistaken Cristiano was still with us. Do your job well and not just what comes to your mind ”, wrote the Portuguese on Instagram under a post from Rosea. Cheers to him. The one who will have to go to the psychologist instead is Antonio Conte, I’m afraid. The Tottenham coach never gets it right again, not even by mistake: on Thursday evening, leading 2-0 at half-time against Manchester City, he was recovered, overtaken and humiliated 4-2: further away from the Champions League, and risk of a second consecutive season without trophies for the Italian manager addicted to victories. However, the Spurs can smile: in a while the Champions League will start again, and to beat this Milan it will be enough to field the reserve team.