A sharpener, quick! He is the only one who can fix the Nord Stream flaw
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You know it, right? Well, in his famous speech to the speaker, he says verbatim: “If you have gas leaks, we will fix them”. Unequivocal words, and that never as today are of great relevance and public utility. What are we waiting for then?
Imagine how I am these days, anxious as I am, while the largest gas leak in history is taking place in the Baltic Sea. I’m obviously talking about Nord Stream: the failed gas pipeline, probably due to Russian sabotage, which has been losing methane for a week with disastrous consequences, and is currently still out of control. I seem to smell the gas already from here. I don’t sleep there at night, and I wonder who can do it with such a catastrophe in progress. There is a cloud of methane gas, which formed over Scandinavia after the accident, which has crossed Europe and is now over Italy. They keep saying that there is no danger, that there are no risks to our health; but if I were you I wouldn’t light a cigarette when it’s too windy. And let’s hope the rain doesn’t catch fire.
The idea of an international gas leak is indeed the great bugbear of us anxious; and to be living it on your own skin is terrifying, I do nothing but think of this planet that could blow up from under your feet at any moment. The environmental damage, moreover, is already full-blown and of enormous proportions: the leakage of all that methane contained in the Nord Stream pipes could cause up to fourteen million tons of CO2, one of the main causes of global warming as well as cough. But most of all, now the Baltic Sea is gassed, full of bubbles: it seems to bathe in the Ferrarelle, which is also cold. Net of responsibilities and consequences, the pipeline must be repaired as soon as possible; and perhaps we Italians have the solution at home.
I’m talking about the knife grinder. Just him: the grinder / umbrella maker. The one who grinds knives, scissors, scissors, silk scissors, ham knives. You know it, right? The umbrella maker, women! Well, in his famous speech to the loudspeaker, the knife grinder says – exact words: “Let’s repair gas cookers. We have spare parts for gas cookers. If you have gas leaks, we will fix them ”. Unequivocal words, and that never as today are of great relevance and public utility. What are we waiting for then? Let’s immediately send an army of Italian grinders on a mission to the Baltic Sea to repair Nord Stream! I already seem to hear them: “If your pipeline smokes, we remove the smoke from your pipeline”. In the meantime, it would be a great recovery for the sector of Italian street vendors; and would introduce the world to one of our longest-lived excellences. But above all, if we are able to repair such a fault thanks to our sharpeners and umbrella makers, this could help Italy to have a stronger and more authoritative voice in the grueling European negotiations on the gas price roof; of the series “I shelter, I pretend”. I don’t see other solutions, nor do I think there is any more time to waste. The time, if anything, will then be there to thank me for having had this umpteenth thought.
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